Sin Abolished, Lord Vessel Placed

2/25 - 0 Deaths / 0 Push-ups (WHAT?)

I was carrying THIS around?

Today I atoned for my sins against the stupid onion-head knight in Anor Londo (so I can go free him) and then I placed the lord vessel with the help of Frampt.

I hope the Crow was well clear...

No real combat except a preliminary venture into the Catacombs which I'll flesh out tomorrow.

PS Stupid exploding DOOM heads.

Exiting Ariamis

2/23 - 2 Deaths / 10 Push-ups

This time I approached the phalanx with caution, using the stairs as a funnel. King Leonidas would have been proud at how I drew them in and eliminated them with the excellent range of the Demon Spear.

An excellent defensive posture... which they don't maintain.

That victory opened up a shortcut to the bonfire which was great. More exploring and I'd collected some new magician armor, tons of soul items and a key to the abbey. I found what I had thought I'd heard were some of the toughest enemies in the game in the Wheel Skeletons, but found them to be simple and easily bested. Perhaps the environment was on my side, I admit that a bridge would be a terrible place to meet them and don't hope for it in the future.

Goddamn the crows grow big in these parts.

I had to retrace my steps a few times because I learned the way to open the door to the boss was via a lever I'd missed and I didn't know how to proceed without checking a guide. Embarrassing!

Finally coming face to face with Priscilla, she offered me a peaceful parting which seemed a bit surprising considering how unwelcoming the rest of her painted world was.

She's mostly peaceful... but that scythe is intimidating as hell

I checked out the plank to see the way home, still undecided of whether to take her out or leave in peace. I didn't realize however that there was a trigger to a cutscene on the bridge...

I'm either going home, or I'm going to die

I can return via bonfire warp it seems, so I may return if I so desire. I would like to take out the zombie dragon but had too few arrows at the time.

A bit more testing of the bonfire warp took me to Undead Parish where Andre took my dark ember for future use (if I ever figure out how).

I also went to darkroot to get the black bow, but it's so far below my Longbow +8 that I don't know if I'll bother with upgrading it.

Not sure where to go next. Catacombs, New Londo Ruins, elsewhere? Frampt was asleep so I couldn't see what he thought about having ended O&S.

WHAT THE HELL! IT'S 4AM?!

Ugh.

Dead and Deader!

Feb 20 - 6 Deaths / 30 Push-ups

Attempt number 56, first try tonight, Ornstein goes down, then Super Smough goes down.

That's a big lady

It is finally done.

I felt like I needed revenge however, so I hung around and placed my marker to assist some others. We got invaded a few times, the host died a few times, I distracted Super Ornstein as a sacrifice to let the host heal... it was a good lot of jolly co-operation.

Hello friends!

I eventually wandered back out and headed to the lower level of the big temple.

This must be the famed painting...

Yup, this must be the place!

So now I'm stuck in the painter world of Ariamis.

More beautiful design...

A very cool place, but some awful enemies will require a few new strategies. I perished a few times and at last made it to the group of '300' soldiers at the statue. Failed miserably to do any harm here, will have to reconsider that approach....

Half a step

2/19 - 25 Deaths / 125 Push-ups

Twenty-four complete failures. On my last life, I killed Ornstein.

I don't suppose you'll still be dead tomorrow?

Arrested Development

2/17 - 20 Deaths / 100 Push-ups

A bad day in Anor Londo

2/15 - 15 Deaths / 75 Push-ups

Started out ok: easily made my way to the roof, killed some knights, found the DragonSlayer bow and the blacksmith... it was going well.

He was not lying...

I even found Lautrec and killed the bastard, avenging the death of the firekeeper. Unfortunately I was murdered by his assistant after the fact so I couldn't pick anything up if anything was even dropped.

Of course it's not a 1 on 1.

But then...

I'd like to introduce you to Pain and Suffering

10 deaths. Sometimes instantly. I need a break before I have a stroke.

Plastic Duck, Silver Bane

2/14 - 5 Deaths / 25 Push-ups

I'm sure you all know what I'm about to complain about.

I would have to say I lost a good 25K souls to these two over the 4 attempts at this climb. I've never seen arrows like THAT before.

Getting to step one wasn't bad, but circling the tower and scaling it to confront them point blank... man that was rough. Had to take him down with swordplay in the end, barely managing to stay on the ledge that time...

THEIR BOWS SHOOT SPEARS!?

I couldn't resist going for the second one, which cost my life once but was a success the second time. Note that the 'second time' I went for the other archer was actually three attempts later.

Payback's a bitch.

Once I was inside, I was unstoppable. I was a knight killing machine! Havel's armor just boosted that fact. I'm king of this goddamn mansion! Knights were falling before me like sorry undead ghouls.

I even found onion man again! Listen to him complain about all the trouble in the next room. Please, I'm the goddamn Silver Bane, no knight scares me.

I'm certain he's exaggerating. 

Notice my health half-gone in the above picture? 

I didn't. 

Oh well, I can get the souls back over the weekend.

: /

Welcome to Anor Londo

2/13 - 4 Deaths / 20 Push-ups

A slow venture forth into a surprisingly clean city.

I made good progress into Anor Londo, quickly learning the habits of the large roadblock knights and having comforting success against the gargoyles as well.

Despite having learned my lesson in Sen's Fortress and putting an arrow into the mimic before trying to open the chest, he still managed to grab me and chew me to dust. Quite certainly the most graphic death thus far.

I made it far enough to turn the central bridge, reducing my travel time from the bonfire significantly, but despite a kind warning to watch for snipers, I was still pitched off the side by a thrown knife while crossing a narrow rooftop.

What could go wrong?

Note to self: a raised shield will deflect a thrown knife, but you'll still get pushed ever so slightly...

Dead Asylum

2/12 - 8 Deaths / 40 Pushups

I found Big Hat Logan near the other magician at Firelink. I should know known considering they're acquaintances. Despite the large hat it's hard to see him sitting in the grass like that.

He wouldn't help me anyways, said I'm not ready or something. That may have to do with me never upgrading intelligence. I don't really use magic because I decided on a melee build so I won't worry about it for now.

Since I was in the area I decided to try fighting the skeletons in the graveyard, and to go to Undead Asylum again and try clearing it out once and for all.

Had no trouble in the graveyard until I found  a cave leading to the Catacombs. There, the easy skeletons dont appear to die. I think I'll save that place for later, like, when my Firelink bonfire is lit again... if possible.

Hello down there...

So, a quick hop to the Asylum and I took out both Black Knights (another BK Sword? Humph.). The Stray Demon however was NOT going down without a set. 40 bloody push-ups trying to figure this guy out. I died over and over. Eventually learning to recognize the misty red blast was the trick, and from there I took him out easily enough.

Mission accomplished, there's nothing left alive here now.

You got beat by a naked man.

Well, except you, Snuggly. I'll leave you a nice present before I go.

Emptying the Fortress

2/10 - 6 Deaths (2 Stupid) / 40 Push-ups

Sen's Fortress. All the way to the top. No deaths.

I don't know how I managed this one, but slow and steady pacing and a terrified, paranoid eye carried me safely to the top.

This archer tried his best...

I reached the Iron Golem himself and defeated him on my first attempt, with a lot of luck and a +3 Black Knight Sword.

It's you and me... and a flying axe!?

That's not to say I didn't die AT ALL.... From the top, I decided to try jumping the gap in the walkway to see what was over there. That killed me on the return trip. I also died once fighting that huge Balder Knight fellow, and a few more times trying to kill the Tritanite Demons down in the tar pit. Still left two behind after all that.

I also had to pay out a huge sum to absolve my sins because I erroneously tried freeing Big Hat Logan with my sword, seeing as I had no key. Sorry there, chappie!

Forgive me... and take these 26K souls.

I wasn't ready for Anor Londo quite yet so I went back to firelink to see what I could buy from Big Hat.

I didn't find him, but I did find THIS ugly mother, who apparently eats my gear for souls.

9 out of 10 dentists won't touch that shit

The sound of him grinding his teeth will haunt me to the grave.

Extra Tasty Crispy Me

2/8 - 6 Deaths / 30 Push-ups



My final steps in Ash Lake led me to a massive tree reaching all the way to the world above. As I rounded the corner I saw what looked like folded wings... MASSIVE folded wings. Oh good, a bonfire! In front of a dragon.

Admiral Ackbar was screaming at me.

"It's a trap!"

I walked slowly forward, the wings drew open... and nothing. I rested and spoke to the dragon. He asked me to join his covenant. Of dragons? Hell yes.

I got a dragon's head stone, that's cool. Whoa! Gave me a dragon head! I wonder what the benefit of that is...

Severe Halitosis

Alright, I'm done with this place. I'm going to Sen's Fortress like the Bell wanted me to.

On the way there, I thought I'd give the Red Dragon a go (AFTER curing the damn curse finally). 

My sword was definitely strong enough to kill him, but after getting his health to 3/4 I couldn't get close enough to him to do any more damage, he kept dodging and flying away. For this round, all my deaths are belong to him.

The not-so-great hollow

2/6 - 15 Deaths / 75 Push-ups

"I wonder what's under this tree?"

I mentioned once that I had a guide slash mentor who has already defeated the game. I think he feels that I've been having too easy a time.

"Go into the great hollow" he said.
"You'll be fine" he said.

This is where I usually start to die

Well a handful of falls when trying to reach items wasn't too bad. The little frog guys aren't too bad. Even dying when discovering that being outside the forest means the goombas are hostile was not too bad.

But being cursed really sucks.

It took 4-5 more attempts to reach the bottom. I had to outrun the daddy goombas because I had trouble killing them by isolation and luring. The fog gate was a welcome sight with the mushrooms bearing down on me from behind.

Ash Lake is gorgeous.

The hydra was a battle I was happy to replay but being cursed meant a much harder time. Five flasks was proving insufficient, so I decided to use a twin humanity to kindle.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

This game can be heartless.

"There's the hydra; slice his throat! ... and grab his scrote"

I finally put down the hydra but haven't ventured much farther yet. For such a secret place, I hope for something good... Something other than the 6 dragon scales; I don't even use my drake sword anymore!

Failing to Defend the Forest

2/5 - 11 Deaths (1 Stupid) / 60 Push-ups

I wandered into Darkroot to try another round at the sealed forest area. I had a feeling it was doable. Succeeded in defeating some NPCs and found the cat. Joined the covenant and put on the ring and encountered my first PVP almost instantly when I started invading others as a forest protector.

Like a certain cat from Wonderland

I got my ass kicked. People had bind spells, something that seemed to make them bounce off me, swords that poisoned and couldn't be blocked by shields...  all kinds of cool tricks I'd never seen before. I got in a few good hits but my Black Knight Sword was outclassed all day.

Get it? Even a dumbass hero could kick my sorry butt.

I stayed around for about six rounds, got my ass kicked every single time. I gave up and moved on to continue through the forest itself. I ran into my old buddies the Goombas, who were not hostile (except the two big ones, but I ignored them rather than risk breaking my covenant).

Oh look, giant door. Guess that means it's boss time! Took 4 tries to learn the moves of what was one of the most interesting designs ever. A giant wolf... WITH A SWORD!? Goddamn it he was cool as hell. I want him as my sidekick. Sil is the first enemy I felt bad for killing in this game. Especially with the limping at the end... :(

Beautiful.

In reading about the Forest Hunters I learned I could buy weapons off that eastern dude in Blighttown so I went back to that wretched place (goddamnit) to spend my souls from Sil. A fly disoriented me on the wooden walkways and I fell to my death. Fourty Three Thousand Souls sitting and waiting in Blighttown while I respawned in Undead Parish. SHIT. Time for a slow, careful walk....

Queelag's Last Dance

2/3 - 1 Death / 5 Pushups

I was ready for her this time. Flame-retardant armor and soul arrows armed, I ran around the boulder ogres and entered the lair. The arrows were useless. Having put her down I went below and proudly rang the second bell.

Rest in Peace.

Oh to see the sun again- wait what's this? I can go deeper? I joined the covenant of the spider queen because why not.

Deeper still, I entered Demon Ruins which really looks like a place I should not go.

Ever get the feeling you didn't belong somewhere?

I wandered towards a massive bridge leading to a fog gate which I was hoping was not s boss, but the fire tentacles uh n the distance suggested otherwise. Along the way, one of the bug worshipers bit me and Sir Robin was comically scratching his head.

Hey look! The boss doesn't attack! Hey look! Amazing armour!

Perhaps I'll survive the first attack?

No, no, no.

I'm getting the hell out of Blighttown. I need to see the sun again.

Killed by the Save

2/2 - 4 Deaths / 20 Pushups

The game decided to load my save where I was before, however it MOVED the position of the enemies who were lurking out of harms way last night to RIGHT BESIDE ME. Unfortunately, my gamepad was not turned on yet and I died without raising a finger. I don't know if that counts as a stupid death or not. I think no, but if I do it again, yes.

THEN, trying to find my way back to the base of the swamp, ONE fucking ogre somehow got past a block and took 3/4 of my health. Enough to kill me. 8K souls and a humanity sacrificed to a fucking lesson on saving and loading. FUCK. 

Blighttown is a miserable place.

I touch a bloodstain, watch the ghost fall to his death reaching for an item on a corpse, and wonder if it could possibly be worth the risk considering the way out is a precarious drop from 6" beam to 6" beam.

I walk away. 

Three tries later I finally made it safely to the swamp. I realized slightly late that I should have been wearing my rusty ring, but still made good use. 

First attempt at Queelag was positive, down to 25% health against her. 

Tomorrow, she will die.

"Amazing Chest Ahead" LOL, +1

Not sure if this is her legs or her pet...

"... like some kind of demented Ewok village..."

Feb 2 - 1 Death / 5 Pushups

I got stuck in Blighttown. Didn't know where to go so I went back out to take my firespark to the lady at firelink.

She was dead :(

Sounds like I can avenge her with this eyeball thing at Anor Londo, wherever that is... probably by the damn ghosts.

AND my damn fire is out. Shit.

I bought my first pyromancy spell from the fellow I saved from the butcher. Glad I ran into him in the Depths!

Circled back through the Depths to take the other route down. I died once right at the entry to Blighttown from the Depths.

This route in seems tougher, but after 3 grueling hours wandering around (without a death I can say proudly), I finally made it to the waterline the side of the swamp. WTF do I do now!?

Go to bed. I've had enough of this demented Ewok Village.

Drake's Failure

1/31 - 14 Deaths - 1 Stupid

Killed by Drake. Killed by Self (See 'Stupid Death'). Killed by rotting dragon. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. Then it was Drake, Drake, Drake... x 12.

Of COURSE it got up...

Stupid Death: I was so ready to take on the Drakes in Round 2 that I ran to the Dark root Basin elevator without realizing it was still at the bottom where I left it. At least when my body smashed to a thick paste at floor 'M' of the shaft, my newly liquefied chest triggered the button to bring it back up...

Then more time fighting drakes and drakes and drakes... I got down to two left before I was bounced off the bridge by another errant tail. Still don't know what's on the far side.

I gave up for now and tried getting past the rotting dragon. A sprint sufficed, to my delight.

In Blighttown past the Rotten Dragon I found a key to New Londo Ruins. Met the blacksmith there and found some ghosts, that I'm pretty sure I can't hurt, though I tried. Left and went back to Blighttown, where I made progress and found another FireSpark whatever for the Estus bonus. Firelink? Oh yeah that's right around the corner... :(

It was well past bedtime at this point and I hit a roadblock in Blighttown so I saved the rest for the weekend.